A Christmas Eve Remembered

The roads were slick with ice and snow as we made our way up the MSR to where we were going to turn.  To tell you the truth you really couldn't see the road, we could only guess we were still on it by the relative thickness of the snowdrifts to the right of us.  To the left of us was a steep drop into a cut on the side of the hill that the road followed.  

Winters in Kosovo were supposed to be relatively mild, but it seems like the 10th Mountain Division brings the harsh upstate New York weather with us.  I was told this was the coldest winter in Kosovo in something like 75 years and on this Christmas Eve we were in the third day of a four day blizzard. 

It had been quiet the last few days.  Most of the locals could only drive out of their villages by following in the tracks we had left behind us.  So we had made an effort to drive out to most of the larger villages in our sector to help them out. 

Tonight we were on a different mission though.  SSG Lovallo, my third squad leader, had recently discovered a remote village that was populated by a couple very poor families with lots of kids between them. They didn't have much and we were worried about their welfare with the blizzard coming.  I had made some inquiries with the civil affairs officer whom I had a good relationship with and together, SSG Lovallo and I had decided on a special mission. 

We finally got to the point on our GPS that told us where to turn off the road and we followed a heavily snowed over unpaved trail that went up a ridge line for a little ways. When we finally got to the point where the snowdrifts were too deep to drive further we dismounted the HMMVW's.  

We left one of our team leaders and another driver to sort out the vehicles.  The rest of us strapped our snowshoes onto our combat boots and grabbed our rucksacks to start our march up the ridge line.  

We made slow progress.  The snow was coming down which made it hard to see, but we had the village plotted in our GPS. After about 45 minutes we started to descend to a low spur where we saw several huts (for lack of a better word).  The kids saw us coming down from the ridge first.  By the time we got to the village there were at least 10 of them running around waiting for us.  

An old woman with a kerchief around her head invited us into her home with four or five other adults and some more kids.  Ramiz, our interpreter, said they never would have expected us.  

Tired as we were we took our rucksacks and snowshoes off.  

I told the patriarch of the extended family that made up the village, "Merry Christmas."  We began handing out boxes of MRE's, clothes that we had scavenged from my civil affairs contact, and some toys.  

As little as two winters before this night this family was huddling in the woods.  They were trying to evade Serbian army units who were coming through the area burning people out of their homes and killing Albanians who made trouble.  I can't imagine what they had been through. 

I have never seen such joy and gratitude for something as simple as second hand clothing and bad food, but they were overwhelmed.  They served us hot chai and hugged us graciously.  When it was time for us to leave they would scarce let us go to ascend to the ridge line in our snowshoes again.  

Though they had nothing to offer us in return, I've never forgotten them or the joy I had in meeting them.  I think I got more from their reaction and their story than we ever could have given them. 

This time of year we can so easily get caught up in so much hustle and bustle that it's easy to lose focus on the important things.  

God has given us so many blessings.  Sometimes we just need to stop and remember them, and then remember to be a blessing to others.  

Merry Christmas.  May you remember the blessings in your life, the creator who has provided them, and do your best to be a blessing to those around you. 

Thou Shall Not...Is This The Best We Can Do?

For the last couple years I have belonged to a Bible Chat application wherein people create and post to user created forums along any number of discussion topics.  On the whole I have enjoyed checking it periodically.  It is a place where I have received encouragement and have had the opportunity to encourage others, to chat about various topics, discuss my faith, etc.  

There is one thing about it though that tends to get under my skin.  At any point in time it seems like fifty percent of the forums consist of the following question:  "Is this or that (insert a random action such as getting a tattoo, wearing a certain style of clothing, watching a certain movie, listening to certain music, etc.) a sin?"  And my response is usually something like this, "Really?  Is this what we are to focus on?"  

Today I realized why it bothers me so much, and it reminded me of something I learned in the Army. 

When I was a young officer they taught us how to navigate in the wilderness.  When I first started I would pull out my map, figure out where I was, what direction I had to go, how far I had to travel, and start walking through the woods, eyes glued to my compass.  Invariably I would wander off course and fail to reach my point.  After a while I learned a new way of doing things.  I would figure out the direction I needed to go, and pick a recognizable feature along that line of travel and start walking in that direction.  This time my eyes were focused on my destination.  I found that my land navigation skills improved dramatically.  I learned that where our eyes are focused, our feet follow.  So if you are looking down at your compass, you will quickly veer off course, but if you pick a focal point in line with our intended direction of travel we will arrive at our destination.  

Too often, we as Christians focus on the wrong things.  

It's easy to do, I know I get wrapped up all the time in legalism, so I can't really blame Christians for focusing on sins and rules.  We grow up with casual understandings of basic Bible stories and are easily caught up with this sense that our faith is about rules.  But is it really?  Is our faith defined by a list of things not to do?  If so, we are in trouble because none of us are getting the obedience thing right.  

Don't get me wrong, I believe God has very definite ideas of how we ought to live.  And He gave us the law to help us to live in community with Him and with one another.  

But let's be honest here, none of us came to a relationship with God through our righteousness.  None of us has earned our salvation.  And we didn't stop being sinners the moment we proclaimed our faith.  In the book of Romans, Paul very clearly discusses his struggles with sin in his own life.  But then he goes on to tell us to focus on our new life in the Spirit, telling us to focus our eyes on God and demonstrating love to one another as our spiritual act of worship.  

This brings me back to my initial point of this post, this sin-centric way of thinking feels to me as if it is fixing our eyes on what we aren't supposed to do rather than on what our true focus should be.  

Jesus brings us to an understanding of this in his teachings.  He shows us that the laws can only provide us with the bare minimum expectation for how we are to live.  When asked by the Pharisees which is the greatest commandment Jesus answers with:  

"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself .'"

Maybe it's time we get our minds off what we shouldn't be doing and start focusing on what we should do.  What if we focused on serving others through our vocations, or finding ways to help those in need?  What if we stopped trying to live our lives against certain actions we deem sinful and started living our lives FOR something instead?

What if we focused on a relationship with God instead of running scared from judgement?

My hope is that we all find a way to fix our eyes on the right focal point so we don't get lost on our way to our destination.  

The Ongoing Work of Redemption

Too often I find myself struggling to live in the present.  I find myself reminiscing about or dwelling on things in the past, and at other times I am focused on the cares or dreams of the future.  I have to remind myself to live in the present. 

In many ways, I think that this tendency creeps into my spiritual life as well.  I read the Bible and marvel over the stories of men long dead such as Abraham, Moses, David, and Daniel.  I read the gospels and look at Christ’s sacrifice as a past act that took place long ago.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, there is the Book of Revelations which tells of Christ’s future return and the completion of the redemption story. 

Too often I fail to connect the dots between the two.  My faith today sometimes doesn’t seem quite real enough, God’s presence doesn’t feel tangible enough.  It is almost like reading a novel where someone has torn out all but the first and last chapters.  I see the beginning, and I see how the story ends, but what happens in the middle where I’m at?

Recently I finished reading the Book of Acts again and the story clicked back into place for me.  The Book of Acts is the story of the church after Christ’s resurrection.  Christ has given the great commission to his disciples during the 40 days after his resurrection and has ascended into heaven.  The disciples once again are alone.  I imagine they must have been filled with confusion and questions about where they should go now, just as I often feel today.  But on the day of Pentecost, they receive the gift of the Holy Spirit and the Church is born.  Throughout the Book of Acts we see time and time again, how the Holy Spirit finds ways to use simple people in all different circumstances to spread the word of God and bring the Kingdom of God here to earth. 

That is what clicked for me.  The story of redemption didn’t pause in the past, waiting for some event in the future.  It is happening here and now just as it did in the years after Christ’s ascension with everyday people.  God isn’t just a God of the past.  He isn’t just a God of the future.  His name is “I Am,” not “I Was” or “Someday I Will Be.”  God is active and living and working in our lives today.  We are the chapters in between.

It happens when that quiet voice convicts me for the things I shouldn’t have done, shouldn’t have said, or shouldn’t have thought.  As a result I repent and do what I can to repair the damage to my relationship with God and with those around me whom I may have hurt.

It happens when someone wrongs me, and because I recognize my own need for repentance I somehow find it in myself to let go and forgive. 

Redemption not only happens in me, but in the world around me.  It happens when I raise my kids to have a love for God, and to live by a code of values.  I see the Holy Spirit working in their lives and impacting how they see the world around them, and how they interact with the people around them. 

It happens when we find ways to use our vocations as a  means to serve others rather than just earn a paycheck. 

It is happening when someone takes a moment to offer a comforting word to a friend or stranger who is struggling with something in their life.  Or perhaps when someone takes the time to pray for the needs of others around them. 

Likewise, the Holy Spirit moves when we recognize the material needs in someone else’s life and find ways to provide for them.  It is in the donations we give to a food pantry to feed the poor.  It is in the time an old gentleman takes to volunteer at a pancake breakfast to feed the homeless.  It happens when someone takes the time to care for the elderly who can’t do for themselves. 

Redemption happens when we as Christians find ways in our own lives to break the confines that we place on our faith, and bring our faith out of the Sunday morning service into the real world. 

That is the faith I want and need to cultivate in my own life.  I want a faith that is rooted in the present. 

Today my hope is that God will find a way to work in my own life.  It is my hope that God will find a way to work in yours.  Today.

My Son

Some treasures are worth much more than what can ever be bought.  

Five years ago, Christi called me at work and told me that she was in labor again. She had gone into labor ten weeks early, but the doctors were able to arrest her contractions.  Now, still six weeks early, Patrick decided he was coming for good.   A few hours later I was the proud daddy of a little golden-haired boy. 

Nothing quite prepares a father for a little boy.  Little boys are a special blend of hard-headedness, dirt, laughter, and responsibility that only dads can truly appreciate.  Patrick is no different.  

He's the little boy you have to hose off naked in the backyard before you let him come in the house because he spent all morning rolling in dirt and mud.  He is the little monkey who figured out how to escape his crib and pick locks before he was two (yeah, I wish I was joking about the locks).  He is the little man who is obsessed with cars, transformers, and anything that makes noise.  He is the child who knows how to make you laugh until your belly hurts.  

He is also the kid who makes you want to be the best man you can because you know he wants to be just like his daddy.  

He follows you around watching all you do, wanting to do things like help you fix your bike and shoot guns.  He is always digging through your toolbox and trying to wear your clothes.  

You try to set the best example you can because he is always watching you.  

That's why you are so damn proud when he does things like reminds you to pray, or tells you he stood up for other kids at the park who were being picked on.  You take pride every time he learns to climb higher on the jungle gym because he is learning from you to face his fears.  He is a reflection of who you want to be and little by little he is becoming a little man. 

And yet, he is still that little boy who loves to climb in bed next to his daddy and you can only smile at him when he is asleep.  It warms your heart when he says, "I love you Dad."  

It's the things in life that can't be bought that are the most precious.  Happy Birthday son.  I take special pride and joy in having the honor of being your daddy.