A Different Kind of King

It was a cold winter’s night in the early days of the Roman Empire and a king was about to be born.  But as this night and the next thirty years or so would show, this king would prove to be very different than what the world had come to expect.   

Unlike the Caesars who ruled the Empire, this king would not be born in an ornate palace or manor.  This king would come into the world in the basement cave of a crowded inn located in a small backwater village in a backwater province of the Roman Empire.   His cries would be mingled with the sounds and smells of sheep or goats. 

Just as it would be expected for the birth of a future Caesar, this king would also have heralds to announce his arrival into the world.  However, the similarities would end there.  The heralds were not sent to the Roman Senate, or to the wealthy patricians of the district, or even to the religious leaders of the Sanhedrin.  This king’s heralds were sent to the lowly.  They appeared before lonely shepherds huddling around a fire for warmth in the Judean countryside. 

This king would not be raised in opulence in Roman palaces.  This king would likely grow up in a one or two room hovel, sharing space with his parents, four brothers, and sisters.  He knew the hunger pangs of famine and malnutrition.  It is likely that at least one of his siblings died before reaching maturity due to childhood illness or other disease.  He probably trained with his father as a semi-skilled laborer, working with his hands to eke out a marginal existence.  In due season, he and the other members of his family probably hired themselves out as day laborers in the fields of rich landowners, breaking their backs from sunrise to sunset to sow crops in the spring and reap them in the fall. 

This king didn’t surround himself with men of influence and power.  This king would spread his message to the outsiders, those living on the margins.  He would attract fishermen and tax collectors rather than princes and religious elites.  He would appeal to those who were rejected as sinners and call them to repentance and communion with the rest of the community.  He would touch the lame, the blind, and even those suffering from highly infectious disease, those that no one else would dare to touch.  He gave a message of hope to those who had none and saw themselves as too broken to be worthy of hope. 

This king didn’t demonstrate his power through shows of riches and power.  Rather he lowered himself to the status of a slave, even washing the dust off his followers’ feet.  His followers would distinguish themselves through acts of love and humility. 

The kings in Rome would use symbols such as the cross to intimidate, humiliate, and oppress.  This king would subject himself to this humiliation and turn it into a sign of redemption, hope, and power over death. 

The Roman Empire would advance itself through military conquest, domination, and trade.  This kingdom would thrive under unbelievable persecution, spreading across the world through a message of unconditional love and humility. 

This time of year, it is so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season, to forget how radical that first Christmas was and how it changed our world.  This season my hope is that we take a moment to remember. 

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God of Wonders

Anyone who knows me well knows I am a nerd.  I have always been fascinated by academic pursuits, whether it is reading classical literature, studying history, or buying chemistry and physics books to “brush up” on things I had studied in school. 

One of the things I really enjoy is watching the documentaries and specials on History Channel, Discovery Channel, and the Science Channel. 

Recently I watched the series “How the Universe Works.”  If you have never watched it, I highly recommend it.  It is hosted by a virtual who’s who of physicists and astronomers describing the science behind some of the biggest questions about how the universe was created and how it works.  Having watched the series describe our theories about the workings of the universe and the impact on our solar system, I could not but help to be overwhelmed at the majesty and grace of such an amazing creation.  I am particularly awed at all of the things that came together to make the Earth such a special planet that was able to foster intelligent life. 

According to this series, the Universe formed over 13.5 billion years ago when an infinite amount of mass and energy which was compressed into an infinitesimally small area exploded at near the speed of light. 

Over time, the matter resulting from this explosion coalesced into stars, which aided by the forces of dark matter and gravity, grouped into galaxies.  As stars formed and died spectacular deaths in the form of supernovas, the resulting materials congealed to form planets and solar systems around these stars. 

In our case, these events happened in just the right times and locations to create the conditions for life to be created.  Our solar system happened to form in the outer third of the Milky Way galaxy, sufficiently far away from the galaxy’s core to avoid the intense heat and chaos resulting from the gravitational pull required to hold the galaxy together. 

Our planet formed at just the right distance from the sun to ensure that we had just the right amount of heat to support life without destroying the conditions required to maintain it. 

Our planet coalesced of just the right materials to create water and organic compounds. 

Even the physical make-up of our planet and those in our solar system contributed to create unique conditions to support life.  For example, our planet formed a solid iron core surrounded by a molten metal core.  The magnetic field resulting from this odd configuration provides a shield that protects our atmosphere from the incredibly harmful effects of the solar winds.  Without such a field, the atmosphere would boil off and our planet would die.  Another amazing example is that Jupiter’s mass and location in the solar system has acted as a buffer to protect the earth.  Apparently, Jupiter’s massive gravitational pull has created conditions wherein the planet Earth is largely protected from deadly impacts by planet killing meteors and other objects. 

The creation of our moon as well was a blessing.  According to scientists, the creation of the moon was the result of the glancing impact of a huge meteor off the earth’s surface.  The resulting debris coalesced into the moon.  The resulting tides and currents caused by the gravitational pull of the moon have been essential to maintaining the conditions to create and sustain life on Earth. 

When I think of all the unique circumstances it took to create a habitable planet and life on earth, I am astounded by the wisdom, majesty, and grace it took for our creator to craft such a universe.  It is purely a gift that we are here today.

Too often I take for granted the power of my God.  Too often I forget about the pure scale of what God has done.  Sometimes it takes thinking on such universal scale to realize how much God has done for us throughout eternity and to thank Him for the blessings that He has poured out upon us.

Often I get caught up in my own life and problems and I question God.  I question his goodness and his love.  My own questioning reminds me of Job, questioning God’s goodness when he suffered.  But today, I am reminded of God’s answers to Job.  He doesn’t answer Job’s question of why he is suffering, he points back to his glory and majesty. 

“Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?  Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.  Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?  Tell me, if you understand.  Who marked off its dimensions?  Surely you know!  Who stretched a measuring line across?  On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone – while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?  Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades?  Can you loose the cords of Orion?  Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs?  Do you know the laws of the heavens?  Can you set up God’s dominion over the earth?”  -- Job 28: 2-7, 31-33

Sometimes we just need to put things back into perspective in order to allow ourselves to put our faith in Him. 

Memorial Day Tribute

Hero.  It’s such an evocative word.  Our literature, movies, and pop culture references are littered with heroes, but most people have never seen one.  Not in real life anyway.  We can all conjure up images of the comic book character with super human strength, who wears a special spandex outfit, sporting a cape that billows in the wind.  Or maybe we think of sports figures making multi-million dollar salaries.  But most of us know that these aren’t real heroes.  While they may perform amazing feats of athleticism or entertain us in the comic books or movies, nothing that these men or women do is of any real consequence to us.       

Heroes do exist in real life though.  You may think that have never met one, but there’s a decent chance that you have. 

I am lucky enough to say though that I know what a hero looks like.  I’ve had the opportunity to meet many of them.  Having served for over 12 years in the Army, I found that I was surrounded by heroes on a daily basis.

I can understand if you wouldn’t know it if you did though.  Most heroes defy our pre-conceived notions and expectations.  They don’t jump over tall buildings in a single bound.  They don’t wear super capes and flashy boots.  They don’t have superhuman strength.  Most of them aren’t even rich. 

They come from all over America.  They grew up in New England townships, or small Texas border towns.  They come from big cities, suburban neighborhoods, and backwoods towns. 

Some of them you will see at the mall trying to pick up girls.  Some of them you will see at the local playground, watching their kids swing on the swings or slide down the slides. 

They are young single kids like Brandon Titus.  They are seasoned veterans like Sergeant Wayne Cornell or Staff Sergeant Jason Butkus.  They come from all different races and ethnicities like Stephen “Jamaica” Richardson, or Oscar Sauceda. 

Despite all the diversity, they share one thing in common.  They are all proud Americans who were willing to lay down their lives for an ideal.  They all volunteer to put themselves into harm’s way to defend something bigger than them.  They defend their country, their families, and their brothers and sisters in arms from people who are willing to kill for the sake of suppressing others.  They fought for freedom, to liberate others from tyranny, and to protect others from bad men.  They are willing to pick up arms rather than stand by and let evil happen. 

They come from a long, proud history.  They stand in the ranks of proud minutemen who fought better armed and better trained soldiers to win independence for their country.  They stand in the ranks of blue-clad militiamen fighting to rid a continent of slavery.  They stand in the ranks of young men drafted into service to fight in the trenches and fields of Europe to stop the spread of a totalitarian nightmare.  They stand in the ranks of professional soldiers who climbed the mountains of Korea, or waded through the rice paddies of Vietnam.  They stand in the ranks of those who fought to throw a dictator out of Kuwait, or ensure starving children received U.N. food deliveries in Somalia.  They stand in the ranks of men who searched the caves of Afghanistan for murderers who would use terror to spread their ideas. 

I am proud to say that I knew such men.  Today, I pray that each and every American would take time to remember these sons, brothers, and fathers for the sacrifices that they have made to make the world a better place.  The world is not worthy of them, but it should be. 

To Those Who Have Given The Last Full Measure Of Their Devotion, I Salute You.

Sergeant John Klinesmith

Sergeant Glenn Alison

Specialist Brandon Titus

Specialist Henry Risner

Sergeant Andrew Brown

Private First Class David Watters

Specialist Brian Baker

Specialist Dwayne McFarland

Sergeant Brent Swank

Sergeant Lindsay James

Sergeant Wayne Cornell

Specialist Stephen Richardson

Specialist Daniel Fuentes

Specialist Jason Morales

Private Oscar Sauceda

Specialist David Wilkey

Specialist James Adair

Specialist Camy Florexil

Specialist Daniel Leckel

Staff Sergeant Jason Butkus

“The cost of liberty is less than the cost of repression.”  -- W.E.B. Dubois

The Fear of Battle

When I was deployed to combat, the fear of battle was a constant, almost physical presence.  It didn’t really matter where you were or what you did, it was always there in the back of your mind.  If you were sitting in the mess hall, you could be the victim of an unexpected rocket attack.  If you were out in sector the fear became more real.  Walking down an alley you would occasionally hear the ping of a bullet whizzing nearby from some unseen direction.  Or if you were securing the roads, you would hope that the culvert you were checking wouldn’t suddenly engulf you in an explosion.  The point is that we all dealt with the fear of being in battle constantly. 

Part of our preparation for battle was outfitting ourselves with the right equipment.   Over our uniforms we wore a ballistic vest with Kevlar plates to protect our chests and vital organs from bullets or shrapnel.  Over our heads we wore a Kevlar helmet.  We wore ballistic glasses or goggles to protect our sight from shrapnel.  Over our body armor we wore our load bearing equipment vest to provide easy access to all of our critical items such as ammo, water, compass, etc.  We wore thick combat boots, kneepads, and elbow pads, to protect our feet, knees, and elbows from the stresses and dangers of moving under fire.  In our hands we carried our assigned weapon with which we could engage the enemy if we were attacked.      

 While wearing all this didn’t make us impervious to death or injury, I learned to place a kind of faith in this equipment.  I saw firsthand that this equipment saved lives more often than not.  It helped us to deal with the fear and to protect us from the dangers of battle. 

I have come to learn though that although I am no longer in a position to be deployed to combat, I am always in battle.  I find myself in battle against forces I cannot see or hear or grasp.  I am fighting against hate, lies, unforgiveness, temptation, and anger of both myself and of people who don’t know God.  I find that I am fighting against a power that wants to strip me of my children, of my means of living and providing for my family, and ultimately of my faith.  The attacks are relentless and nasty, and once again, I am afraid.  I am afraid of losing what I love, I am afraid of failing my kids, I am afraid of failing my God.  I am afraid that I won’t be able to stand my ground. 

Recently, my parents reminded me that just like I did when I was in combat, I need to take time daily to outfit myself for the battles that I have to face. 

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” – Ephesians 6: 10-17

I find it interesting that Paul tells us first to take up the belt of truth.  I think, “What use is a belt in combat?”  Then I remember my load bearing equipment.  It held everything of importance in place.  Truth puts everything in perspective.  The truth of what is right and what is wrong helps us to make sure we are fighting the right battles and standing on the right ground.  The truth of knowing that we are children of God helps us to remember who is standing with us.  And with that in mind, everything begins to fall into place.  For this, I must dwell in his word constantly, reading and meditating on it at all times to help me put things in the proper perspective.

Next we are told to outfit ourselves with the breastplate of righteousness.  Here is where I often fail.  I know who I am, and the kind of person I am.  I know every one of my mistakes, my sins, my flaws, and my weaknesses.  I think, “Why would God protect me?  Who am I that he should care about me?  I am just a sinner, deserving of punishment.”  This steals the heart out of me.  But God is not telling me to outfit myself with my righteousness as if I have any.  He is telling me to outfit myself with the righteousness that has been credited to me apart from anything that I have or can do.  I am to outfit myself with the knowledge that Christ has died and cleansed me from my sin, and that God brings me near to Him because of who I am through Christ.  Even if Satan tries to convince me that what I have done is deserving of guilt or fear or punishment, God tells me that all my debts are paid. 

We are told to stand firm wearing the shoes of the gospel of peace.  This is the God that told his disciples not to fear when he calmed the storm.  He is the God that tells us not to worry about tomorrow because He will provide for our needs.  He is the Spirit that told his apostles not to fear or worry about what they would say when they faced governors and kings because words would be provided to them when the time came.  He is the God that tells us to be at peace and to stand knowing that we are being held up by Him if we will only let Him. 

He tells us to take up the shield of faith with which we can extinguish all the fiery arrows of the evil one.  I find that I am under attack from all different directions, some expected, some unexpected, and at times I feel overwhelmed.  Faith is always hard to come by.  The book of Hebrews defines faith as the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.  One of my favorite books of the Bible is Job.  He was a righteous man who suffered greatly.  His friends took his suffering as a punishment from God and accused him of sin and wrongdoing.  The thing that impresses me so much about Job is that even though he feared that he might die without having been vindicated in this life by God, he knew that God would redeem him in this life or the next.  I know that God is a good God, He is faithful, and He is trustworthy.  He will come to my side and defend me, and whatever happens, He is big enough to redeem even the worst of circumstances for His purpose. 

The other interesting thing about this image is that shields were meant to be used in mass.  Each individual stood close enough to the man next to him so that they protected one another’s weak sides with their shields.  God has provided us with a spiritual family on purpose.  He has put us here to mutually encourage one another and to lift each other up.  We must rely on the faith of our brothers and sisters in Christ and protect one another when we are at our weakest and most vulnerable.        

We are told to don the helmet of salvation.  We must know without a doubt that we are saved, and that God is our refuge and strength.  We must protect our thoughts from doubt by knowing and accepting his ability to save us.

Lastly, we are told to wield the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  God’s word is powerful, it rings of truth, and it demolishes the strongholds and arguments of those who live by lies. 

I am trying daily to take the preparations necessary to meet my enemies and challenges on a day to day basis.  I find that as I do, the fear is eventually conquered. 

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare

 and from the deadly pestilence. 

He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. 

You will not fear the terror of night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

nor the plague that destroys at midday. 

A thousand may fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

but it will not come near you. 

You will only observe with your eyes

and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”

and you make the Most High your dwelling,

no harm will overtake you,

no disaster will come near your tent. 

For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways;

they will lift you up in their hands,

so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 

You will tread on the lion and the cobra;

you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord,

“I will rescue him; I will protect him,

for he acknowledges my name. 

He will call on me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble,

I will deliver him and honor him. 

With long life I will satisfy him

and show him my salvation.”  -- Psalm 91

Lord, help me to stand firm in my faith in you, to trust you, and to help others to stand as well.   

My Daughter

Six years ago I became a father. Six years ago my life irrevocably changed. Six years ago, it still seems like yesterday...

I received a call from Christi around noon that she needed to go to the doctor. I dropped what I was doing, and still dressed in my uniform, I drove Christi to the doctor's office.

The pregnancy had not been an easy one. We had a few scares, and Christi began to bleed when she was only 16 weeks pregnant. But, a month till the due date remained and she seemed to be healthy.

Around 7:30 that evening, Katie, who ever has her own mind and does things in her own way and timing, was born, 4 weeks early.

I remember as they cleaned her off, I couldn't take my eyes from her. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Then the nurse handed her to me, and my heart melted. I held her close and as the nurses awwwwed at the new daddy and his little girl I whispered to her, "You need to get a job." I was always one to have to ruin a moment. Then I kissed her. It would be the first of many.

As she grew we learned many things. She was hard-headed like her daddy. She had a sense of wonder at everything around her. She studied things. She loved everyone and everything around her effortlessly. She was special.

I remember swaddling her and laying on the couch. I remember teaching her to blow on dandelions in the backyard. I remember, putting her on swings at the park, and teaching her to swim. I remember her cuddling against her daddy and giving her kisses and tickles. I remember teaching her to pray, the questions she asks on the way to church, and the "Big Huggies" she made me give her when I put her to bed.

She is growing up so fast, it seems like time just slips away. But six years later, I find that one thing is constant. I still can't take my eyes off her, and the kisses never run out for her. She's still my precious baby girl.

I know this is late in coming, but happy birthday Katie. Daddy loves you.

On Forgiveness

It’s not easy to be betrayed by the person you used to love most in the world.  To go from showering one another with kisses to learning that their sole purpose for living seems to be to destroy you anyway that they can.  They lie, they cheat, and they push you against the wall at every opportunity.  It is particularly difficult when there is no respite from their hatred and disdain. 

How tempting it is to hate in response!  In some twisted dream of justice, the urge to be consumed by hatred can be nearly overwhelming. 

Hatred hurts, it consumes, it destroys everything around it.  But like acid in a steel pot, it mostly corrodes the vessel that contains it.  I don’t want to be consumed by hatred. 

So how does one let go of anger, particularly when they feel that it is deserved?  The answer is Forgiveness. 

The dictionary defines forgiveness in several ways, but the one I like the most is to grant pardon for an offense or debt.  Because extreme examples convey the most powerful messages, I picture a bound convict at the chopping block, with a lone executioner standing nearby axe in hand.  When given the order the executioner doesn’t raise his axe, he drops it, raises the prisoner to his feet, and frees him from his bindings. 

Forgiveness means, right or wrong, dropping the axe and forgoing the right of retribution.  It means letting go of your claim to another person’s goods or life though they may have wronged you.  It comes at the dearest price that one can pay because it comes at the cost of denying yourself.  Most people find this cost too high.

Today, like many days, I feel like the cost is too high.  I feel too hurt.  I feel too wronged to let go of the axe. 

God, why must Forgiveness be so hard?  How do I let go?  How can I forgive when I know in my heart that I am right?

And then I realize it may be just that sentiment that is keeping me from forgiveness.  It is the knowing that I am the righteous one that keeps me from forgiveness.  Too often we want to wield righteousness as if it is a club to beat others with.  We think we stand on the moral high ground and sit in judgment of others.  But Christ warns us otherwise. 

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”  Matthew 7: 1-2.

I think that we are all guilty of trivializing our own sins while we convict others of wrongdoing.  We justify why what we did was acceptable.  We tell ourselves that what we did was of little consequence, or perhaps we were subject to special circumstances. 

We look at ourselves through human eyes.  We purposely choose others with whom we would compare favorably, and then say, “Ha!  I am a good person, at least I am not like so and so.”  We look at righteousness as a balancing scale.  We pile up good deeds in one scale, and bad deeds in the other.  If the “good” scale outweighs the “bad” we tell ourselves that we are righteous.  We only try to consider our actions, while conveniently forgetting to consider our words and our thoughts. 

God looks at things differently.  His holiness, goodness, righteousness, and justice are absolute.  Even our most sacred heroes from the Bible, men such as Moses, Isaiah, Daniel, Paul, and John fell down on their faces before God, keenly aware of their inadequacy.  There are no balancing scales; there is only one scale to weigh our “bad” deeds.  If there is anything on that scale, we are wholly unfit to stand in the presence of God. 

And yet, God loved us so much, that he chose to humble himself and come in weakness.  He gave himself over to atone for our sin once and for all, and demonstrated his victory over sin and death by rising from the grave. 

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”  John 3: 16-17

It is only when we recognize who we really are that forgiveness becomes something we can grasp.  We are lost and broken people who apart from God’s grace are unrighteous and unworthy.  When we give up the belief that we are capable of good on our own, when we admit that we are sinners, we realize that we are in no place of judgment.  It is there, from our knees, not from the judgment seat, where we find the strength to forgive others.  It is then, that we find the strength to love even those who persecute us. 

God, give me the strength to admit my faults.  Forgive me for my deeds, my words, and my actions.  Forgive me for failing to be the kind of example I should have been.  Lord, though I was unable to be the kind of man that could lead her to you, I pray that you would raise someone up in my enemy’s life to bring her to acknowledge you as her Savior.  Jesus, give me the strength to forgive, day to day, and moment to moment.  Help me to drop the axe and loose the bindings.  Help me to remember the grace that you showed me and extend that grace to others. 

“Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.”  Psalm 32: 1