It was December of 2000, and I was headed home for a two-week respite from the US Army Ranger School. I had been at Ranger School for about seven weeks, and in that short amount of time I had already lost about 45 pounds from a lean frame. Days typically lasted 20-hours or more while requiring students to undergo physically demanding field training under highly stressful conditions. The typical Ranger Student expends somewhere around four to five thousand Calories per day while eating only one to two MRE’s consisting of about twelve hundred Calories each. The result is rapid weight loss and a ravenous appetite.
My mom cooked my favorite meal, steak and mashed potatoes for dinner. I devoured every morsel I could, cleaning my plate and going back for seconds and thirds. I was making up for weeks of caloric deficiency. I was more than hungry, I was famished.
Today I am similarly famished, though it is not a lack of food that has me feeling starved. It is righteousness I desperately crave, and that I sorely lack.
I daily feel the weight of inadequacy as I evaluate the Husband and Father that I am against the Husband and Father that I should be. I agonize over how to be a good Son in a situation that is out of my control. I dwell on the sins of my past and how the consequences of things I have long repented continue to impact the people I love most in the world. I realize that I don’t love my neighbor the way I should, or bear the name of Christ the way I am called. I desperately hunger and thirst for a righteousness that I can never produce in myself, try as I might.
In my misery, I turned to Matthew 14 and was reminded of the abundant provision that God has made for people such as me. I was reminded of the Feeding of the Five Thousand. Matthew narrates:
“Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, ‘This is a desolate place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.’ But Jesus said, ‘They need not go away; you give them something to eat.’ They said to him, ‘We have only five loaves here and two fish.’ And he said, ‘Bring them here to me.’ Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass, taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.”
The feeding of the five thousand occurs immediately after Jesus learns of the murder of his relative, John the Baptist. It is this news that drives him to seek solitude, most likely to grieve. It is at this time that Jesus finds himself surrounded by the crowds, who seek to gather around him. And yet, even in his grief and pain, Christ has compassion on the crowds. Ever the servant-leader, Jesus looks not after himself, rather he spends the day healing their sick. The depth of his love and compassion would ultimately be demonstrated as he willingly goes to the Cross where he will suffer and die for them and us.
The disciples evidently did not understand their Master’s example, nor the role that they would play in his continuing ministry. And so, with evening approaching, they appeal to Jesus to send the crowds away, that they might not grow faint from hunger but go to the surrounding villages to find food.
But this would not be what Jesus has in mind. Then and now, Jesus does not turn away his saints to be cared for by the world. The world which is equally in bondage to sin is not equipped to care for the needs of his saints. The world has no word of comfort, no promise of forgiveness of sins or eternal life to offer. There is only one capable of meeting their needs. And so, Jesus rejects the disciples’ pleas.
“They do not need to go away; you give them something to eat.”
In this brief response Jesus teaches his disciples the role that they would have in his continuing ministry. The disciples would not be called to send the saints to the outside world, but to provide for them. We see in this moment that Christ has established his Church to care for the needs of his saints, and to continue to serve it in his name.
We see in this account the great provision that Christ has made for his people. Jesus’ ministry did not end at the Cross, or at the Empty Tomb, or in Jerusalem at his Ascension. Christ’s ministry continues to this day through the hands of his Church. It will continue until Christ returns in glory to gather his saints into his presence, that we might dwell with him eternally.
The crowds were famished. But though the disciples appeared to have meager means to satiate their hunger, in Christ, the five loaves and two small fish were more than enough to feed all to their satisfaction.
Though I am famished, having no righteousness in and of myself, I am certain that Christ’s Church, operating by his authority and command, can satisfy my hunger for righteousness. In his death, Christ died that the penalty owed for my sin was paid, once and for all, for all time. In his resurrection, Christ defeated the power of sin, death, and the devil over me. In my baptism, I received the imputed righteousness that comes from Christ, the promise that I have died to sin and have been raised to eternal life in him. In the rite of confession and absolution, I know that when my Pastor declares my sins are forgiven, it is as though Christ himself has declared me righteous. Each Sunday, when I receive the Lord’s Supper, I receive the true body and blood of Jesus Christ, shed for me for the forgiveness of my sins. Through the means of grace of Word and Sacrament, distributed by the Church, my hunger pains ebb and I am satiated, knowing that I have attained through no merit of my own the righteousness of Christ.
Christ speaks to us also when he commands his disciples, “You give them something to eat.” Not only are we in the care of the Church, but we are the Church. We have been commissioned by Christ to partake in his ministry. When we as parents, spouses, friends, and co-workers take advantage of the opportunities before us to proclaim Christ crucified it is as if we are feeding the crowds. When we declare the forgiveness of sins that is available to the sinner, who is starving for reconciliation, and ministering to their most basic need, it is as if we are distributing the loaves of bread and fish till all are satisfied.
Let us therefore gladly participate in the ministry to which we have been appointed. When we see the many people around us that need to hear of the grace of God in Christ Jesus our Lord, let us not say, “Send the crowds away.” Let us joyfully begin the work of distributing the spiritual food that nourishes us to eternal life as Christ has urged us. Though they be famished, let us fill them to satisfaction with the news that Christ died for sins, that we might live.
